Someone can only be controlled when they are after love and/or money. If you are looking for either of these things, you need to be aware of that fact. People will do whatever is necessary to make their vision of these two things come true. I learned this from the fear of having no money. I did whatever it took to make sure I would stay financially secure. After realizing the hold it had over me, I had to let go of that fear. I am no longer afraid of becoming homeless, broke, in debt, or being in a position to lose it all. There is nothing more rewarding than the freedom of controlling your own life and mind. Analyze all the people in you spend time with. Do any of them have a hold on you that you may not even be conscious of? It could be your boss, significant other, friends, and even family members.
As a child you listen to your parents and obey their orders. Do you know why they have the power to make you do things you do not want to do? When you are able to support yourself, do they still have that power over you? A fool will tell you money is the root of all evil. I will tell you the lack of/love of money is the root of all evil. Money is freedom. When you NEED something that costs more than you have available, your freedom is limited. In a sense we have to earn our freedom by earning money. This is when you are the most vulnerable to become a slave for money. If money did not exist, we would still have the same issue. People are after whatever resource is limited; this has been proven several times throughout history. There was a point in time when aluminum was a scarce resource. Innovation was the solution that made aluminum cheap and abundant. The real question is how long will money be a scarce resource?
During middle and high school it can seem like popularity is a scarce resource. Children are willing to fight against each other to become popular. Children are willing to do whatever it takes to fit in, if they desire popularity. This is another phase where a child will compromise their personality, and in a sense lose some mental freedom. Compromise can become a habit. It can all stem from the way a child was raised. There are many strict cultures where rules are forced upon their youth. If a child does not want to act the way the rules force them to, the child has to compromise their freedom. This could develop into a habit of compromising themselves. I believe many people are unhappy because they believe it is normal to live a life of quiet desperation. Could the quiet desperation come from compromising themselves? It is said that you will become the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with. You better make sure they are the right people. If life is really monkey see monkey do, you better copy the right monkey.
This habit of compromising oneself can continue when they begin looking to earn money. If a parent does not know how to make money without compromising their own happiness, how could their teach their child to do so? If a parent does not understand that they can get paid to do something they enjoy, how can they avoid teaching their child to live a life of quiet desperation?
Make sure you realize the only reason a business hires you, is because they will be able to profit more from the work you do than they are willing to pay you. They will always be able to replace you with someone cheaper later down the line, especially if you do not cooperate with their wishes. This is where compromising can continue. As an employee you must be unique, so that you are irreplaceable. You will not be able to do that if you are always seeking to fit in. If you are an employer make sure that your employees are not taking advantage of you. Also make sure that you pay them a fair share for their work. When partnerships work in harmony, it is mutually beneficial. When both partners are happy, everyone will be more prosperous. Avoid a situation where you are unable to quit when you are unhappy. A bad contract could lead to a miserable life.
The key to earning money is by providing value to other humans. Serving people is the key to life, not, being served. It is extremely important for you to serve people in a way that brings you joy. Comparing your material possession with people who are wealthier than you will cause you to do foolish things. Keeping up with people to maintain a friendship will not make you happy. If someone puts you down for your financial situation they are probably more miserable than you are, in some area of their life. Do not allow them to fool you. Many people have self-confidence issues, and that will cause them to be taken advantage of. Their unhappiness will be hidden by them showing off material possessions. If your financial situation causes you to lose self-esteem, they gain control over you. Even though the person who causes you lack of self-esteem seems above you in hierarchy, they are below someone else. The best position is no position in a game like that. The key to not playing that game is through Gratitude. If a child learns this lesson early enough, they will live a life full of freedom.
The person you are falling in love with can make you do crazy things, because they can have power over you. Especially when they do not truly love you, and are using you for something you can offer them. This can apply to your love life, friendships, and family. If you have invested time and energy into a relationship, you will most likely do whatever it takes to keep it going smooth. You cannot get your invested time back, so it is difficult to face all that time going to waste. This will cause you to do whatever it takes to keep the other person happy. This can be extremely dangerous if you love the person and they are also supporting you financially in some way.
I have seen men and women control their significant other with money. I have also seen men and women control their significant other with love. It is a dirty game to play, and it usually does not end well. They key to a good relationship is a relationship that is mutually beneficial. Another big factor is self-confidence. If one person in the relationship is extremely attractive, and the other has the resources but low self-esteem, they tend get used when the love is not mutual. If it is more beneficial for one person, they end up losing in some way by keeping the relationship.
A prenuptial agreement can be the defining factor of a healthy marriage. If one of the members in the relationship is not willing to sign, that should be a warning to call it off. The prenuptial agreement can prevent divorce, because it makes splitting up more difficult. It will also prevent one of the partners from walking away with something they do not deserve. Both partners should come to the table with equal resources, to prevent one of them from compromising their mental freedom to fit in the picture. Fake love is easier to find than true love, and I hope you find real love. Being aware that a potential life partner could be in a relationship with you for the wrong reason is crucial. Even if it seems like they are out to help you, they could attempt to control you with money or beauty. This article applies to women as much as it applies to men. Every situation is unique; it is up to you to figure out which factor you are bringing to the table.
I hope this article has opened your eyes to see your potential weakness, so that it does not get used against you without you realizing. You should not be afraid to get into a relationship, but you should be aware of who the person really is before it is too late. You will never get something for nothing, everything has a price, sometimes the price tag is hidden. I pray that you have long healthy relationships in all aspects of your life. Life is not all black and white, make sure to avoid extreme beliefs about specific topics. Always learn both sides of an argument before you choose one. Have faith that things will workout for you. Having to compromise your happiness for love, money, or acceptance will make you a slave. Do not allow your fear of standing out lure you into an avoidable mistake. Freedom should be the most abundant thing in your life. That is my wish for you. If you are unhappy, the first step to take is admitting it. Do not fear it, you are not alone. Self-confidence and happiness can be gained through Gratitude.